Returning to my office this week, or to be more precise, the stool at the corner of a desk that I'm allotted, I found the following note waiting for me: "Tim, please could you write a column about directors and managers who employ telephonic bouncers as secretaries or receptionists? Ah go on Tim, ah go on!"

Sensing discontentment in the ranks (all four of them), I foolishly called an impromptu meeting where they explained their frustration at trying to get to talk to directors of companies, who after all are the only ones who can make financial decisions.

They told me they're regularly asked by frosty receptionists or secretaries what exactly the nature of their call is, and after explaining more about why they are calling, the receptionist just tells them to put it in an email which gets deleted anyway before anyone else has a chance to read it.

They're acting just like some unauthorised company police force that has excessive powers and can effectively block access to new business!

Wishing to show some solidarity on behalf of busy directors, Isuggested that they couldn't possibly take all the calls they receive."Ah, well, that's the thing," they rushed to tell me. "Are you suggesting that directors only take calls from people they know? When do they ever expand their thinking to new ideas, if they only take calls from people they already do business with?"

I ummed and ahhed a bit then came up with "but they must get a lot of calls from people who want to sell them something they don't need or want". Suddenly, I was under a full frontal bombardment from all sides of my stool. "So, can't they listen and then decide this isn't for them, but thanks anyway? Are they so delicate that they can't say thanks but no thanks without the protection of a frosty?"

As I was in danger of agreeing with them, I tried one last pitch: "But surely that's what they pay their secretary for?" It was left to one of our team, who has letters after her name, to deliver the final blow to my waning resistance, by stating: "The receptionist or secretary isn't paid to know the business, isn't paid to have intrinsic knowledge of how the market operates, isn't paid to decide the future company structure and is not paid to have a knowledge of how the internet could benefit the business - that is what the director is paid to do".

So, as a reward for our team of telephonic angels, and to keep them from forcing me to make the calls to the frosties, I repeat below their suggestions for ensuring that directors and managers stop hiding behind their minders and take the call. They suggest: "Can you please tell him: I was wrong - I am pregnant." "I will come home - it was just a moment of madness." "Would you ask him for my key back?" "I have thought about it and he was right - we can't go on like this." "Is he or isn't he coming home?" And finally: "It's his new secretary. Can you ask him when he wants me to start?"

There, I have kept my staff, won a little side bet that I would indeed submit the article and probably risked my reputation, but hey, you know what they say about a woman scorned. Well four scorned was never an option for me!