There’s a saying here in the North East: “Shy bairns get nowt”. Shy children get nothing. It’s stuck with me because it’s true; if you don’t ask you don’t get.

I run a kitchen design studio called SPELK with my husband Graeme. We’ve quickly learned that visibility is everything – because nobody does business with a studio they’ve never heard of. You have to be seen.

Earlier this year I was one of fifty female entrepreneurs invited to Downing Street. I got there the same way I get most things: by volunteering my time and knowledge and by talking to people.

The North East mayor actually used the phrase “shy bairns get nowt” when she addressed that room full of women, and we all nodded because every one of us had lived it.

That’s the principle behind Mixer, the networking event Graeme and I founded for people in interiors across the North East. The idea is simple – get designers, makers and suppliers talking and doing business together.

It works. Someone once walked into their first Mixer and got asked to quote for thirty bathrooms. That doesn’t happen if you stay in front of your computer. It happens in a room, over a conversation, because somebody was willing to start one.

It’s not always easy. Sometimes it’s downright uncomfortable. But if you want to get anywhere, you have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. We entered awards that we had no expectation of winning. We applied for voluntary roles that we didn’t think we’d get. We got up on stages and gave talks. 

We started Mixer and contacted companies far bigger than we had any business talking to, because we wanted them to come and speak. More often than not we won and people said yes. And we’ve made real friends out of it too, because most people respond well to someone showing genuine interest and trying to do something constructive.

That’s the other important bit about pushing yourself forward: done right, it isn’t selfish. 

It puts you in a position to support others too. The Mixer has filled around 200 seats at events so far this year. SPELK has volunteered with three different organisations. All of these have led to exactly the kind of great ideas and relationships you can’t create any other way.

Take a chance

It’s not merely about confidence for its own sake. It’s about understanding that in a trade built on referrals, reputations and relationships, staying quiet is a business risk. People don’t miss out because the opportunities aren’t there – they miss out because they don’t ask. 

Every conversation you don’t have, every message you don’t send, is an opening you’ve handed to someone bolder. So if you’re wondering whether it’s worth reaching out and showing up: it is. Talk to people. Ask customers for reviews. Invite collaborations (please invite us). Offer to write articles (like this one). Turn up to things that intimidate you slightly.

Shy bairns get nowt. But loud ones – or even just the brave ones – get results.